Incredulous

"Though My husband passed on, my life continued. During the daylight hours I was okay, but as the sun set and the winter darkness fell around me, it seemed as if the walls moved closer together. At that time of day I was incredulous that my husband was gone. When I started to cry, I wondered how I would ever stop."

This was take from the book I've been reading. It's such a trip how similar her story is to what I've written in my own journal...except I dont use big words like "incredulous", which means: unwilling to admit or accept what is offered as true; skeptical. When I looked up that definition I couldnt believe it! Theres another word to add to the bucket of emotions I feel on a day to day basis!

Your coworker Erickson posted on my FB wall this morning. He wanted to see how us girls were doing and to say that he misses you too. A little over a week ago, Rammar and I had a text conversation too! It was so nice to hear from him and to let him know that I pray for him daily. Babee, I just thought you should know that its not just friends/family that know me personally whose love and care I'm surrounded by...its also the coworkers/friends of yours...that I didnt have the privlege knowing personally like you did! The people who knew YOU and what you were all about because you shined your bright light around them daily!

I said it a couple months ago during the week after you passed away...and I want to say it again: I'm amazed at just how much more in love I become with you each day, when you're not even physically here with the girls and I! I never imagined it was possible to love you more than I have...let alone while you're not here!

Anyways, I am trying not to get too mushy and lovey-dovey like I have been, but I just had to get that out. Being checked-up on by your coworkers? Who I dont personally know? Wow!!! Thats LOVE:)! Thank you for being you. 1434