I know it's past midnight and all...but I just wanted to say happy 7 years, and goodnight sweetheart! And thank you, once again, for everything! And I mean EVERYTHING! Being in love with someone who is so in love with me right back is the best feeling in the entire world. I'll forever love being in love with you. I love that I can still see your fine face even when my eyes are closed because I gives me peace knowing you'll always be with me. So, goodnight my honey-bunches-of-oats. I'll see you in my dreams:).
1434
Here's my letter to you, Mark Matthew Aragon. The LOVE of my life, and Papa to our girls, who's Heavenly birthday is 11/04/2010. There's so much I want to say and if Heaven had a phone, I'd call. Missing & loving you more everyday, Lei
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
In the Kitchen (Again)
So, a couple weeks ago I told you about how I finally started cooking again. My first creation was my enchilladas and while they were a hit, the process was all off! I couldnt stand not having you here to help mix it all up and taste-test for me! Sounds silly, but we had a good system going when it came to stuff that took hours like enchilladas, ceviche, lumpia, etc...
Well tonight was another "first" for me. My first time whippin together my seafood pasta salad without you. It didnt take hours, but the entire time I thought about the weeks it took us to perfect the recipe. There was even a recipe we tried that you did NOT like, at all! That was the one and only time I knew of you not liking something! We found a bunch of variations online and after a lot of tweaking we finally came up with the right stuff for THE perfect creation! :)
I loved cooking for you! And I was never satisfied with an "it's good" cuz you thought EVERYTHING was "good"! LoL I always strived to make you ask me to cook something again. That's how I knew you really, REALLY liked something:). Betcha didnt know that, huh?!?!
Well, I just had to share that with ya. It sucks that the emotions couldnt stop after my first time finally cooking again. Looks like I'll add some tears to each dish I cook up for the first time. (Sorry Girls! I'll just add less salt! LoL)
1434
Well tonight was another "first" for me. My first time whippin together my seafood pasta salad without you. It didnt take hours, but the entire time I thought about the weeks it took us to perfect the recipe. There was even a recipe we tried that you did NOT like, at all! That was the one and only time I knew of you not liking something! We found a bunch of variations online and after a lot of tweaking we finally came up with the right stuff for THE perfect creation! :)
I loved cooking for you! And I was never satisfied with an "it's good" cuz you thought EVERYTHING was "good"! LoL I always strived to make you ask me to cook something again. That's how I knew you really, REALLY liked something:). Betcha didnt know that, huh?!?!
Well, I just had to share that with ya. It sucks that the emotions couldnt stop after my first time finally cooking again. Looks like I'll add some tears to each dish I cook up for the first time. (Sorry Girls! I'll just add less salt! LoL)
1434
Your Legacy
I still get messages from people close to you in the last few years, and here's one I got last night that I wanted to share: "The funny thing is Mark and I would never talk about work, but always about family life. I remember him often talking about his love, sharing parenting stories, and all the hard work he was putting in to be a provider. This always left an impression with me, and to this day I couldn't begin to comprehend what his loss has meant to your family. I rejoice in the time he was here and I will tell you as small as our conversations were, he has left a lasting legacy and impression with me on my ideals of fatherhood. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you and the family for keeping his memories alive through Facebook!"
In the 7 years I had the privlege of having you in my life, you went from an amazing man to an extraordinary man right before my eyes, and of those close to you. It was definately a blessing to be by your side through it all. We all hold on to memories that stand out the most in our minds, and I thank God that the memories I hold close are of the man of God you spent your last years on this earth passionately pursuing to be.
Faith, Hope & Love. 3 things that shined bright through your life and you were an example of to others. You saw God through eyes of FAITH and knew, without question, that His Word is Truth. You had Biblical HOPE (certainty, not probability) of Salvation, and were soooo ready to spend Eternity in Heaven. Your LOVE for God above all things, and your constant choices to love others no matter what. These are the things that those who knew you will remember of you. Your testimony, your FB posts, your words and actions, your commitments, and the way you spent your days...all this is the legacy you left and will live on through all your loved ones. Now that shows the tremendous impact you left on this broken world babee...1434
In the 7 years I had the privlege of having you in my life, you went from an amazing man to an extraordinary man right before my eyes, and of those close to you. It was definately a blessing to be by your side through it all. We all hold on to memories that stand out the most in our minds, and I thank God that the memories I hold close are of the man of God you spent your last years on this earth passionately pursuing to be.
Faith, Hope & Love. 3 things that shined bright through your life and you were an example of to others. You saw God through eyes of FAITH and knew, without question, that His Word is Truth. You had Biblical HOPE (certainty, not probability) of Salvation, and were soooo ready to spend Eternity in Heaven. Your LOVE for God above all things, and your constant choices to love others no matter what. These are the things that those who knew you will remember of you. Your testimony, your FB posts, your words and actions, your commitments, and the way you spent your days...all this is the legacy you left and will live on through all your loved ones. Now that shows the tremendous impact you left on this broken world babee...1434
Thursday, March 10, 2011
7 Years and Counting...
7 years ago we met on MYSPACE, of all places! Our lives were forever changed on March 11, 2004. It seems like everything happened so fast after that day, but in reality we took our sweet time. We were the best of friends for a couple years before we finally realized that we were it. We were created for one another. Everything in our lives, the good and the bad, prepared us for the love we fell into. We often talked about the fact that there wasnt a thing we could even try to regret about our crazy pasts because if we didnt experience everything we did then we wouldnt have appreciated the love we had for eachother.
I often think about how we so easily couldnt have been...How in the beginning, there were so many "too good to be true" moments that made us stop and question the reality of US. There were plenty of times I tried so hard to push you away because I felt you deserved so much more than someone like me who suffered from so many bumps and bruises when it came to love. But you never left us. You were determined to be my man and Papa to the girls! You chose us! And that, my love, is something I'll be forever grateful for.
We found so many similar qualities in one another...and as time passed, it became so clear that we were eachothers answered prayer. Who were we to question what God intended from the start?
For almost 7 years, not a day passed that I didnt have the privlege of knowing that you were here with me under the same sky. I got to hear your strong, yet soothing voice every single day...literally! As much of a techy as you were, text/email was never enough. We spoke over the phone, if not in person, every single day! I cant even begin to explain how much I long to hear your voice again!
Holding hands everywhere we went, the random winks from across the room, the forehead kisses just because I was sitting next to you, the big bear hugs that reminded me how secure I was with you, the playful kisses that grossed the girls out, the singing and dancing in the kitchen, the lock-holds the girls would try to break open to get to me, the long hugs that would turn into a lock-hold-game after the girls would catch us...and all our other affectionate ways are over!
Your desire to be "the man" and head of our household no matter what, your longing to become a man pleasing in God's eyes, your natural papa-skills and the passion you showed each day to be everything they could ever want and need in a papa, your selfless ways of making sure we had whatever we needed and the way you'd literally blush and had that "awe shucks" feeling when we'd do for you what you'd do for us...and the many, MANY other ways you led our family will never be again!
All of the above ended on November 4, 2010. Its so easy to say/write that...but it feels impossible for me to accept it! I thank God everyday that we showed our appreciation towards one another all the time. The day you left, the girls and I had NO doubts about who we were to you! And likewise, we can confidently say that you knew what you were to us. You chose us and we chose you. That means a lot, especially considering that the girls could have easily rebelled and gave you a hard time 'just because'! I bet though that if they did, you wouldve quickly won them over:)!
No matter how painful things are right now, not one day goes by where I regret our love, not even for a second! Regardless of who chooses to accept it or not, our love is as real as it gets.
Thank you for making the past 7 years the best years of my life! And even though its hard to comprehend now, I'll be a better me for the rest of my life just because of you! 1434
I often think about how we so easily couldnt have been...How in the beginning, there were so many "too good to be true" moments that made us stop and question the reality of US. There were plenty of times I tried so hard to push you away because I felt you deserved so much more than someone like me who suffered from so many bumps and bruises when it came to love. But you never left us. You were determined to be my man and Papa to the girls! You chose us! And that, my love, is something I'll be forever grateful for.
We found so many similar qualities in one another...and as time passed, it became so clear that we were eachothers answered prayer. Who were we to question what God intended from the start?
For almost 7 years, not a day passed that I didnt have the privlege of knowing that you were here with me under the same sky. I got to hear your strong, yet soothing voice every single day...literally! As much of a techy as you were, text/email was never enough. We spoke over the phone, if not in person, every single day! I cant even begin to explain how much I long to hear your voice again!
Holding hands everywhere we went, the random winks from across the room, the forehead kisses just because I was sitting next to you, the big bear hugs that reminded me how secure I was with you, the playful kisses that grossed the girls out, the singing and dancing in the kitchen, the lock-holds the girls would try to break open to get to me, the long hugs that would turn into a lock-hold-game after the girls would catch us...and all our other affectionate ways are over!
Your desire to be "the man" and head of our household no matter what, your longing to become a man pleasing in God's eyes, your natural papa-skills and the passion you showed each day to be everything they could ever want and need in a papa, your selfless ways of making sure we had whatever we needed and the way you'd literally blush and had that "awe shucks" feeling when we'd do for you what you'd do for us...and the many, MANY other ways you led our family will never be again!
All of the above ended on November 4, 2010. Its so easy to say/write that...but it feels impossible for me to accept it! I thank God everyday that we showed our appreciation towards one another all the time. The day you left, the girls and I had NO doubts about who we were to you! And likewise, we can confidently say that you knew what you were to us. You chose us and we chose you. That means a lot, especially considering that the girls could have easily rebelled and gave you a hard time 'just because'! I bet though that if they did, you wouldve quickly won them over:)!
No matter how painful things are right now, not one day goes by where I regret our love, not even for a second! Regardless of who chooses to accept it or not, our love is as real as it gets.
Thank you for making the past 7 years the best years of my life! And even though its hard to comprehend now, I'll be a better me for the rest of my life just because of you! 1434
Happy (what would've been your) 33rd b'day Babee!
I felt like buying all the mushy birthday cards at the store! I remember practically doing that for your 30th and putting one on the bathroom mirror, one on a chair in the hall, one in the fridge, and one sitting on the drivers seat of the car.When you woke-up that Monday morning, and did your usual routine, you found the cards and texted me after reading each one because you didn't want to wake me at 4am! I miss doing things like that for you...it was fun being with such a romantic man because I knew you'd appreciate my mushiness right back!
So as I wandered thru the CVS card section looking like a crazy woman crying and taking notes, I came up with the following remix of various cards. If I could hand you a birthday card today, here's what I would type on the front:
Then on the inside I'd write my usual novel, of course:) Here's a mini-version:
So, there it is. Happy What-Would've-Been-Your-33rd Birthday sweetness. 1434
So as I wandered thru the CVS card section looking like a crazy woman crying and taking notes, I came up with the following remix of various cards. If I could hand you a birthday card today, here's what I would type on the front:
I love our love story—
The ups, the downs, the twists and turns,
The love that’s kept us together through it all…
I love remembering how we met
And the giddy feeling when we first fell in love…
Savoring all the sweet moments that are forever in my heart…
I love our details—
Our music, our hangouts, our code words and nicknames,
And all the memories we’ve made together…
I love our friends, our friendship, and everything else that connects us,
Heart and soul, and makes our story unique and beautiful…
I love our passion—And tenderness…
Most of all, I LOVE YOU (MORE)!
Then on the inside I'd write my usual novel, of course:) Here's a mini-version:
Happy birthday my love! Every day of my life, I wake up thanking God for you. Throughout each day random memories of you come to mind that make me stop what I'm doing and thank God for you some more. When it's time to go to bed, I thank God for you again, and I ask Him for guidance to become a woman who makes you just as thankful for me. You've always said that I make you wanna be a better man (as if that's possible! you're an extraordinary man!), well you have always made me want to be a better woman! A woman who makes you feel as special and celebrated each day as you make me feel.
So, there it is. Happy What-Would've-Been-Your-33rd Birthday sweetness. 1434
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Missing you
As much as it bugged me before, "I miss the scratch of your unshaven face on my cheek"... I wouldn't mind feeling it everyday for the rest of my life, just to have you back. I miss your sweet forehead kisses and your random "look at me"s to tell me you love me. I miss us calling eachother silly nicknames all the time so that the sound of our actual names coming out of our mouths seemed wierd. I miss the way you'd sleep. How you'd hold me close till I'd wake you up to turn around cuz you'd be breathing on me...then I'd hold you. We'd never sleep with me holding you cuz you'd say "I'm the man, I'm supposed to hold you." But once you were knocked-out being the man didnt matter and you'd let me hold you.
I miss you...
1434
I miss you...
1434
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Mr. Macgyver
I had 2 charley horses within 6 hours today. The pain level is equivalent to labor pains, if you ask me! I was talkin to Ate Sette about it when I got a flashback to when we first started working out again and I got 'em a lot. I'd wake you up screaming in pain! One time, you and your Mcgyver brain decided to create a way to keep it from happening for a second night in a row. You placed a heating pad on my calf, took a bed sheet and wrapped it around my toes, pulled them back, wrapped the sheet around my calf to keep the heating pad snug, then tied the sheet below my knee. Ahhhh...I miss the way you loved me!
1434
1434
Monday, March 7, 2011
Its just the beginning....of March!
We had such an awesome weekend!!! It started off with us celebrating your 4 month HB'day at Atch & Dave's. The drive there was pretty intense. I had "Better Me" by Keyshia Cole on replay and I started crying, then Jin started crying, then Isa did too! (Keila didnt ride with us so she wasnt there to put on her "crunk music" and get all hyphy to make me laugh. LoL) It was emotional, but gross at the same time cuz we didnt have any tissue in the car to wipe our tears and blow our noses!
Saturday we all headed to mom & dads in Vallejo to meet up with the rest of the fam to celebrate all the March b'days. Including yours, of course:). Lani even made a special cupcake for you with your name on it. I let Dillion chow it down.
After the partay the sistas headed to Napa for our semi-annual CHARLI (Cabrera.Haight.Aragon.Ruiz.Lail.Ignacio) getaway. Ate Mae got the hookup on an awesome suite which was basically a condo-turned-resort property. We left all our burdens at the door, hung out, got hooked-up even more for dinner, watched a movie, tasted some real good wine, and had an amazing time together! I'm so blessed to have such a close, loving, FUN family!!!
While we were in Napa, our eldest girls (high school & up) were all at Rie's house for their own little getaway! They did all sorts of girly stuff, watched movies, and started a Bible study called "A Young Woman After God's Own Heart." It's so funny how our family is big enough for small group studies! LoL
The guys were talkin about that paintball outing you were workin on putting together. I think its gonna happen! Wish you were here to join them, but rest assured, you'll be there in spirit...
We're all gonna go see you on Thursday and have lunch in Oakland to celebrate yours and Dave's b'days. I still am tickled at the fact that you, Dave, Pastor Ron, and even Al (the amazing funeral director who helped us) were all born on March 10! You're all such strong, passionate men of God and thats why our girls arent allowed to bring any man over to meet momma unless they were born on March 10th as well:)!
Then there's Friday. Oh Friday! March 11th. The day that changed our lives in so many ways 7 years ago. The day we found a best friend in eachother, and later fell in love. Your 4 month HB'day was more emotional for me than the past three, but I think its because it's so close to 3/11 and I've got that on my mind too. Only the Lord knows how I'll be on Friday! I gave up trying to plan on a certain mood or temperment for these significant days of ours because no matter what, I've been way off!
Saturday, Annah & I are going to the KFSH Worship Roadshow concert at Arco Arena. We've been anticipating this for months! Then on Sunday we'll be going to worship with our Refuge Community Church family in Lafayette for their 1 year anniversary service. It seems like just yesterday that we had the "grand opening" service! Its been a whole year! Now this is another one of those things I cant plan on how I'm gonna be. It'll be my first time at the church since you relocated to Heaven and our first time there without you! I'm sure I'll see & feel you everywhere I look...but at least the girls and I will be surrounded by a church full of people who love and have helped and prayed for us without ceasing from the start.
So, thats how my weekend went and whats happening this weekend. I would ask you to pray for me, but you're in Heaven so just stroll down them streets of gold to wherever you can sit and chat with Jesus over some coffee, jamba juice, or even protein shakes if thats what He likes. Please ask Him to help me get my head together for a test I'm taking on Wednesday. Its a "pre" test to see if I'm smart enough to take the real proficiency test to get into Sutter as an medical assistant. I NEED THIS BABE! The girls need me to get this!
Thats it for now. 1434
Saturday we all headed to mom & dads in Vallejo to meet up with the rest of the fam to celebrate all the March b'days. Including yours, of course:). Lani even made a special cupcake for you with your name on it. I let Dillion chow it down.
After the partay the sistas headed to Napa for our semi-annual CHARLI (Cabrera.Haight.Aragon.Ruiz.Lail.Ignacio) getaway. Ate Mae got the hookup on an awesome suite which was basically a condo-turned-resort property. We left all our burdens at the door, hung out, got hooked-up even more for dinner, watched a movie, tasted some real good wine, and had an amazing time together! I'm so blessed to have such a close, loving, FUN family!!!
While we were in Napa, our eldest girls (high school & up) were all at Rie's house for their own little getaway! They did all sorts of girly stuff, watched movies, and started a Bible study called "A Young Woman After God's Own Heart." It's so funny how our family is big enough for small group studies! LoL
The guys were talkin about that paintball outing you were workin on putting together. I think its gonna happen! Wish you were here to join them, but rest assured, you'll be there in spirit...
We're all gonna go see you on Thursday and have lunch in Oakland to celebrate yours and Dave's b'days. I still am tickled at the fact that you, Dave, Pastor Ron, and even Al (the amazing funeral director who helped us) were all born on March 10! You're all such strong, passionate men of God and thats why our girls arent allowed to bring any man over to meet momma unless they were born on March 10th as well:)!
Then there's Friday. Oh Friday! March 11th. The day that changed our lives in so many ways 7 years ago. The day we found a best friend in eachother, and later fell in love. Your 4 month HB'day was more emotional for me than the past three, but I think its because it's so close to 3/11 and I've got that on my mind too. Only the Lord knows how I'll be on Friday! I gave up trying to plan on a certain mood or temperment for these significant days of ours because no matter what, I've been way off!
Saturday, Annah & I are going to the KFSH Worship Roadshow concert at Arco Arena. We've been anticipating this for months! Then on Sunday we'll be going to worship with our Refuge Community Church family in Lafayette for their 1 year anniversary service. It seems like just yesterday that we had the "grand opening" service! Its been a whole year! Now this is another one of those things I cant plan on how I'm gonna be. It'll be my first time at the church since you relocated to Heaven and our first time there without you! I'm sure I'll see & feel you everywhere I look...but at least the girls and I will be surrounded by a church full of people who love and have helped and prayed for us without ceasing from the start.
So, thats how my weekend went and whats happening this weekend. I would ask you to pray for me, but you're in Heaven so just stroll down them streets of gold to wherever you can sit and chat with Jesus over some coffee, jamba juice, or even protein shakes if thats what He likes. Please ask Him to help me get my head together for a test I'm taking on Wednesday. Its a "pre" test to see if I'm smart enough to take the real proficiency test to get into Sutter as an medical assistant. I NEED THIS BABE! The girls need me to get this!
Thats it for now. 1434
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