God's timing never ceases to amaze me! After a few failed attempts over the past couple months (due to our address change and an over-worked post office), a package filled with love and encouragement arrived today. TODAY, babee!
Inside was a card and gift from our former corworkers at PMSI in Florida. The notes of comfort written by many of the friends were so genuine and loving, I had to shed some tears. Only a couple of them were able to meet you in person once or twice...but your work relationship with them was primarily over the phone and via email. It's such a precious thing to know how you touched the lives of so many people...even ones on the other side of the country whom you hadn't even met in person!!! All the love we've received from many of your friends and coworkers that only knew us thru you is one thing - but to receive such love and comfort from friends whose relationship with you was long distance and mainly work-related is...WOW! I can't even find the right words to explain the feeling! These are the kinds of things that make me fall in love with you over and over!
Needless to say, that package totally made my day!
My goodness...I just looked at the clock and it's almost 5am! I gotta get some rest because we're having a family partay tomorrow at Atch and David's. I can't wait to see everyone! Goodnight booboose. 1434
Here's my letter to you, Mark Matthew Aragon. The LOVE of my life, and Papa to our girls, who's Heavenly birthday is 11/04/2010. There's so much I want to say and if Heaven had a phone, I'd call. Missing & loving you more everyday, Lei
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
3 Months
Its been 3 months since I last saw you, felt you, and had a conversation with you. 3 months since the girls got a ride to and from school from their Papa and had help with their math homework. 3 months since our lives changed inside and out.
Every single day for the last 3 months seemed like the longest day of my life...the day you were called home. Even though the days seemed like they would never end, I can't believe its already been 3 months! It sounds crazy, but it is what it is.
Happy 3 month Heavenly Birthday babee! I hope you're celebrating BIG up there! Thank you for being so loving and lovable. I continue to miss you more and more each day...and even though you're not physically here, you're still the other half that makes me whole. 1434
Every single day for the last 3 months seemed like the longest day of my life...the day you were called home. Even though the days seemed like they would never end, I can't believe its already been 3 months! It sounds crazy, but it is what it is.
Happy 3 month Heavenly Birthday babee! I hope you're celebrating BIG up there! Thank you for being so loving and lovable. I continue to miss you more and more each day...and even though you're not physically here, you're still the other half that makes me whole. 1434
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Ask and you shall receive...
God blesses us simply because He loves us. At every moment and in EVERY circumstance. He is blessing your girls now, in and thru our troubles. We may not comprehend it, but He is giving us what He KNOWS is good for us.
WOW, right!?!? Babee, we and hundreds of others have been praying for God to bless the girls and I thru our heartache. There are days when we find it humanly unbearable, and days when we can feel some sort of relief, but realizing now that God is blessing us every single second is so encouraging!
Earlier this week, I started reading Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb. That same night, I cried out to the Lord asking for some kind of reawakening because I dont want my worship to be in vain. "Ask And you shall receive", right?!?! My goodness...I've been reawakened ever since! I've accomplished so much since that night, and the hopelessness I've felt for months has lifted. The highest blessing, whether I feel it each moment or not, is to KNOW GOD!
An intimate relationship with Him is the greatest pleasure! Even when the plumbing is jacked up, my car gets into an altercation with my garbage can (and the garbage can wins), and even when some stranger hurts my feelings telling me I dont need to wear your wedding band because I'm a widow (which to her means single)! Had I allowed myself to just savor the fact that my Heavenly Father had his strong and gentle arms around me throughout those trials...REALLY let myself be still and let Him be God, none of that mess woulda phased me!
I've been having the biggest private pity party since you died! It's mainly been internally when I'm alone and most often at night. WHY ME? Things were finally heading in the right direction for us...WHY US? We're good people who love the Lord...WHY DID THIS HAPPEN? BUT, on the outside I seldom showed the depth of my cries. I didnt want others to feel obligated to comfort or care for me... I didnt want anyone to see me vulnerable and helpless. I could write about it, but I didnt show it in person, if I could help it. I questioned God asking Why? How could you? What are we gonna do now? How are we gonna get by? And at the same time I did everything in my power to avoid the very people he led to help us. I didnt always succeed...in fact, MANY have blessed us in many ways, but now that I look back I'm realizing that I prevented some from walking-out their faith by being too prideful to accept their help! That sound so crazy to me!
In the book, it talks about how it is in the depths of our brokenness that we must humble ourselves. Our pride gets in the way of truly surrendering ourselves to Him. Its so hard when things are uncomfortable and we realize we are not in control!
Well babee, I'm gonna get back to the book. I had an awesome phone interview today, and I'm praying for a job offer tomorrow which is their deadline to fill the position. If you can, please do yo thang up there (again). I love you more than coffee ice cream!!! *muah*
WOW, right!?!? Babee, we and hundreds of others have been praying for God to bless the girls and I thru our heartache. There are days when we find it humanly unbearable, and days when we can feel some sort of relief, but realizing now that God is blessing us every single second is so encouraging!
Earlier this week, I started reading Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb. That same night, I cried out to the Lord asking for some kind of reawakening because I dont want my worship to be in vain. "Ask And you shall receive", right?!?! My goodness...I've been reawakened ever since! I've accomplished so much since that night, and the hopelessness I've felt for months has lifted. The highest blessing, whether I feel it each moment or not, is to KNOW GOD!
An intimate relationship with Him is the greatest pleasure! Even when the plumbing is jacked up, my car gets into an altercation with my garbage can (and the garbage can wins), and even when some stranger hurts my feelings telling me I dont need to wear your wedding band because I'm a widow (which to her means single)! Had I allowed myself to just savor the fact that my Heavenly Father had his strong and gentle arms around me throughout those trials...REALLY let myself be still and let Him be God, none of that mess woulda phased me!
I've been having the biggest private pity party since you died! It's mainly been internally when I'm alone and most often at night. WHY ME? Things were finally heading in the right direction for us...WHY US? We're good people who love the Lord...WHY DID THIS HAPPEN? BUT, on the outside I seldom showed the depth of my cries. I didnt want others to feel obligated to comfort or care for me... I didnt want anyone to see me vulnerable and helpless. I could write about it, but I didnt show it in person, if I could help it. I questioned God asking Why? How could you? What are we gonna do now? How are we gonna get by? And at the same time I did everything in my power to avoid the very people he led to help us. I didnt always succeed...in fact, MANY have blessed us in many ways, but now that I look back I'm realizing that I prevented some from walking-out their faith by being too prideful to accept their help! That sound so crazy to me!
In the book, it talks about how it is in the depths of our brokenness that we must humble ourselves. Our pride gets in the way of truly surrendering ourselves to Him. Its so hard when things are uncomfortable and we realize we are not in control!
Well babee, I'm gonna get back to the book. I had an awesome phone interview today, and I'm praying for a job offer tomorrow which is their deadline to fill the position. If you can, please do yo thang up there (again). I love you more than coffee ice cream!!! *muah*
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
February 1st means...
Valentines Day is just around the corner. I sucks that I'm dreading what used to be my favorite-ist day ever!
I Feel Good!
I cacually went to bed a little after 10 last night! AND I fell right asleep;). I'm waiting to hear back about a temp-to-hire job w/ Blue Shield. I stopped lagging and ordered my transcripts to be sent to AHIMA. I registered for the Coding Basics program thru AHIMA. I ordered a side-view mirror for my car for MUCH less than what Nissan was charging me. And theres a couple other things I was able to check off my very first to-do list of the year. I feel good!!!
I miss you so much still...especially with today being February 1st and Valentines Day is quickly approaching, but I can actually say that I'm not sad at this moment! And I'm not fronting...my heart agrees! ;)
1434
I miss you so much still...especially with today being February 1st and Valentines Day is quickly approaching, but I can actually say that I'm not sad at this moment! And I'm not fronting...my heart agrees! ;)
1434
Monday, January 31, 2011
Christ Centered Relationships, Francis & Lisa Chan
I spent some time today going thru some of the sermon audio/video we have bookmarked and saved. Believe it or not...I didn't cry! I think the "Come to Jesus" moment I had last night really changed my outlook. I had an intense conversation with Jesus early this morning and I felt like a new person when I woke up. Thanks for tuggin on his shirt and asking Him for that dose of grace for me babe:)!
Anyhoo...I just wanted to share this sermon series here because they meant so much to us, and I pray they can help others too. 1434
PART ONE
PART TWO (Lisa talks to the women.)
PART THREE (Francis talks to the men.)
Anyhoo...I just wanted to share this sermon series here because they meant so much to us, and I pray they can help others too. 1434
PART ONE
PART TWO (Lisa talks to the women.)
PART THREE (Francis talks to the men.)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Shattered Dreams
In the book "Shattered Dreams" by Larry Crabb, he talks about a man who was goin thru some trials. He was worshipping God on the outside, but didnt hear his heart saying "If I'm patient, God will make things pleasant again. That's His job." His worship became a way to convince God to restore his pleasant life. God was not pleased. The mans troubles grew and he fell into depression. His worship stopped. Temptations that were normally managable became irresistable. The temptations brought temporary pleasure, followed by more pain.
Thats as far as I got into the book before the 15 minute heads-up that Barnes and Noble was closing came over the intercom. But it was enough for me to feel such conviction...I DONT WANNA BE THAT MAN! I want my worship to be genuine. I dont want to simply go thru the motions of being a good Christian while my heart says something contradictory.
So now, I'm looking at the life I've lived since you left and I'm feeling such disappointment. My mask of strength and grace that I put on for everyone is NOT what my heart has been telling God! I say "God's way is not my way" and that "He will provide and heal our family". But inside I'm still questioning Him and asking how in the world he could allow such pain into my life!
I stuggle sometimes with going thru the motions, and a couple weeks back I had wrote to you about one of those struggles which was opening my Bible and soaking in what I read. What I didnt tell you is that the reason I was distancing myself from the Word is that I felt rejected by it! I havent gone to service (again) because the sermons have all been about marriage and family, and I've been taking it as a slap in the face amidst the pain I'm already feeling!
No doubt-I'm clinging to the Lord with my entire being...but I need a lot of prayer and some sort of reawakening, for sure. Babee, please tug on Jesus' shirt and ask Him for an extra dose of Grace for me...1434.
Thats as far as I got into the book before the 15 minute heads-up that Barnes and Noble was closing came over the intercom. But it was enough for me to feel such conviction...I DONT WANNA BE THAT MAN! I want my worship to be genuine. I dont want to simply go thru the motions of being a good Christian while my heart says something contradictory.
So now, I'm looking at the life I've lived since you left and I'm feeling such disappointment. My mask of strength and grace that I put on for everyone is NOT what my heart has been telling God! I say "God's way is not my way" and that "He will provide and heal our family". But inside I'm still questioning Him and asking how in the world he could allow such pain into my life!
I stuggle sometimes with going thru the motions, and a couple weeks back I had wrote to you about one of those struggles which was opening my Bible and soaking in what I read. What I didnt tell you is that the reason I was distancing myself from the Word is that I felt rejected by it! I havent gone to service (again) because the sermons have all been about marriage and family, and I've been taking it as a slap in the face amidst the pain I'm already feeling!
No doubt-I'm clinging to the Lord with my entire being...but I need a lot of prayer and some sort of reawakening, for sure. Babee, please tug on Jesus' shirt and ask Him for an extra dose of Grace for me...1434.
Short but sweet...
Today was a much better day than the last 2. I know that doesnt say much, but it is what it is. Not a great day, but a better day.
I miss you...I wish you were here to tuck me in...I love you more!
I miss you...I wish you were here to tuck me in...I love you more!
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