Back to RCC...

The girls and I drove out to Lafayette for RCC 1 year anniversary. It was so exciting to celebrate this milestone with them! Luckily, we got there about a half-hour early so I had time to get the initial tears out of the way. Walking in, I felt so empty. Incomplete. Being there without you just didnt feel right!

While the worship team rehearsed, I imagined being up there and looking to you during mic check...gesturing to you to turn my mic volume up or down. I smiled when I thought of the times I'd call you "babe" or "honey" over the mic, then correct myself by calling you "Mr. Aragon" to be professional:). Calling you Mr. Aragon was easier for me than calling you Mark! LoL I recalled all the running around you would do to get all the sound equipment and media shout in order. You always brought a shirt to change into and a towel to wipe your sweat...oh, and the little fan so we could both keep cool!

You werent there for me to sit next to at the A/V table in the back during the sermon. That was tough!!! I felt awkward sitting in the congregation "alone". I sat with the Matsuhara's, but I still felt out of place. The last time I was there, I was married and by your side. Sunday, I was widowed and even with all the welcoming love I got from everyone, I felt so alone.

During worship, we sang Blessed Be Your Name. Flashbacks of your funeral came to mind. How Pastor Ron said that was one of the songs practiced at the last rehearsal you attended, just hours before you were called home. "You Give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord, Blessed be Your name." Funny how part of the Bible Study I'm doing with my mentor focused on the suffering of Job last week. He lost all of his property, his children all died at the same time, yet he chose to respond by saying "The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21) WoW!!!

We also sang Mighty to Save which reminded me of the very first Crazy Love study we had. The very beginning of Refuge Community Church.

We heard testimonies that brought on more tears, then Pastor Ron preached an amazing sermon. Goodness, gracious...I miss "Bible 101" class! At least, thats what his sermons always feel like! Diving into the Bible, learning how to apply its truth to our lives, and yearning for more is how we always felt leaving church on Sundays...

Overall, it was a little bit bitter and a lot of sweet to be back there. The bitterness had everything to do with you not being there. Had you been, it woulda been perfect.

I thank God for all the friendships we made at Refuge. We've been abuntly blessed by having them all in our lives, especially to love on, pray for and help the girls and I after 11/4/2010. I also thank and praise God for leading our family to RCC where we spent your last year on Earth serving and growing closer and closer to Christ.

Miss you babe...1434.