"It becomes us to spend this life only as a journey toward heaven...Why should we labor for or set our hearts on anything else, but that which is our proper end and true happiness?" Jonathan Edwards
When I think of those words, I get all giddy inside:). In Heaven, I'll not only be united with my Heavenly Father...I'll also be reunited with you, my Lola, and the many other friends and family who have gone before me! This temporary life here on earth ain't nothin compared to the eternal life I have to look forward to in Heaven!
That, my love, is what I remind myself everyday (many times throughout the day) to help me get through this pain. I wish it made the pain go away, but I'm human. Life right now sucks without you. The biblical truth that says we won't be husband and wife in Heaven sucks too...but thank God we'll have the memories of our unique love as we live forever in perfect harmony.
The girls and I have been going thru a lot of "I wish papa were here" moments lately. Months ago, those moments would bring us down. Rest assured that our perspective has changed and missing you no longer puts a pause on life. We, as a family, are learning to live through this pain knowing that it's temporary and we'll eventually reunite with you for the last time...and from that moment on, it's all about ETERNITY!
1434
Here's my letter to you, Mark Matthew Aragon. The LOVE of my life, and Papa to our girls, who's Heavenly birthday is 11/04/2010. There's so much I want to say and if Heaven had a phone, I'd call. Missing & loving you more everyday, Lei
Friday, May 13, 2011
Oh Blogger!!!
You have officially threw me off today! I was beginning to have a great day, till I realized that some of my blog posts are missing! NOT COOL!!!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Love never fails.
"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:7-8
Our love, as in yours and mine, will never fail. I have an early interview in the morning, so I'm gonna skip tonights novel-writing-session and get some sleep. See you in my dreams my love. 1434
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The past 24 hours...
The family got word late yesterday afternoon that Coya was arriving at SFO around midnight. Atch, David, Gabbi, Kuya Lan, Ate Sette, Keila and I all met up in Fairfield and drove out to greet him at the airport equipped with welcome signs and American flags. After spending his last year in Afganistan, he's finally home! Our big brother, Col. Bern Ruiz, is home FOR GOOD!!! To think, he was supposed to retire last year, but signed on for another year...then to end his final tour right after the whole Bin Laden fiasco ended - WOW! After picking him up from the airport about half the size he was when we last saw him at your funeral, we just had to go feed the man so we went to IHOP before heading back to Sacramento! LoL
After the girls got outta school today we headed to Natomas to hang out with the fam (again-lol). I love being so close to family! No need to pay toll or sit in traffic...just 11 miles away.
Tomorrow morning we're bringing my car to the Haight's mechanic to look at some issues It's been having. Monse goes back to SoCal tomorrow night right before we head to AWANAs and my mentor meeting, so it looks like I won't really be able to catch up on some zzzzzz's till tomorrow night, which I'm sooooo looking forward to! I have an interview scheduled for Thursday, so I'll definately need to be rested.
The whole "learning to live with pain" process is beginning to make some progress in my life. Making a conscious effort to talk about you out loud when I need to...cry when necessary...laugh (out loud) about memories that pop in my head, and share those memories with whoevers around me at the time - instead of trying to hold it all in because I don't want others to worry about me - that all is beginning to come naturally. I'm getting out more instead of staying in to drown in my sorrows. I'm getting better at this whole grief thing, and it feels good!
Thanks for lookin out for me and for helping me, through my memories of you, to continue to grieve in a healthy way that's good for me, the girls, AND those close to us. You're on my mind 24/7. It's gonna be that way forever! 1434
After the girls got outta school today we headed to Natomas to hang out with the fam (again-lol). I love being so close to family! No need to pay toll or sit in traffic...just 11 miles away.
Tomorrow morning we're bringing my car to the Haight's mechanic to look at some issues It's been having. Monse goes back to SoCal tomorrow night right before we head to AWANAs and my mentor meeting, so it looks like I won't really be able to catch up on some zzzzzz's till tomorrow night, which I'm sooooo looking forward to! I have an interview scheduled for Thursday, so I'll definately need to be rested.
The whole "learning to live with pain" process is beginning to make some progress in my life. Making a conscious effort to talk about you out loud when I need to...cry when necessary...laugh (out loud) about memories that pop in my head, and share those memories with whoevers around me at the time - instead of trying to hold it all in because I don't want others to worry about me - that all is beginning to come naturally. I'm getting out more instead of staying in to drown in my sorrows. I'm getting better at this whole grief thing, and it feels good!
Thanks for lookin out for me and for helping me, through my memories of you, to continue to grieve in a healthy way that's good for me, the girls, AND those close to us. You're on my mind 24/7. It's gonna be that way forever! 1434
Monday, May 9, 2011
Mothers Day 2011
After the cotillion, we picked-up Isa and Jin and headed home with Monsay & Alana. We all went to sleep funky cuz we were soooooo exhausted! Keila, Monsay & Alana were on the dance floor the entire time - literally! I dont even think they took bathroom breaks! LoL
I woke up to a dozen pretty red roses and special-made cards from our baby-girls. I couldn't have asked for a better mama's day moment...That's how I woke-up every mothers day when you were still with us.
Our water wasn't running, and I had no clue why! It wasn't till after noon, a couple calls to the water company, Keila figiting with knobs and such, and a confession from our neighbor that we got to turn on the water and take turns showering. (Our neighbor accidentally turned our water off...he thought the knob was for his sprinklers, or something like that LoL).
Once we were all ready, we headed to Vallejo to mom's house for dinner w/ the fam. Before we ate, mom, Atch, Ate Sette, Kuya Lan and I went to visit Lola at the cemetary. It was another night of talking about the cotillion and what a success it was, and celebrating us mama's.
I'm finding that it's getting a bit easier for me to tolerate the pain of missing you on special days like Gabbi's cotillion and Mother's Day. Now, Jin's 13th b'day next week and Keila's graduation may be the exceptions, but I'll still do my best to hold it together...
I'm STILL exhausted! But we have just one more BIG night to get thru before we can get a good night sleep. I'll tell you about it tomorrow though:).
I just wanna thank you for teaching our girls how to make me feel special on Mother's day. I had NO IDEA, so it was truly a pleasant suprise:). Talk to you later honey. 1434
I woke up to a dozen pretty red roses and special-made cards from our baby-girls. I couldn't have asked for a better mama's day moment...That's how I woke-up every mothers day when you were still with us.
Our water wasn't running, and I had no clue why! It wasn't till after noon, a couple calls to the water company, Keila figiting with knobs and such, and a confession from our neighbor that we got to turn on the water and take turns showering. (Our neighbor accidentally turned our water off...he thought the knob was for his sprinklers, or something like that LoL).
Once we were all ready, we headed to Vallejo to mom's house for dinner w/ the fam. Before we ate, mom, Atch, Ate Sette, Kuya Lan and I went to visit Lola at the cemetary. It was another night of talking about the cotillion and what a success it was, and celebrating us mama's.
I'm finding that it's getting a bit easier for me to tolerate the pain of missing you on special days like Gabbi's cotillion and Mother's Day. Now, Jin's 13th b'day next week and Keila's graduation may be the exceptions, but I'll still do my best to hold it together...
I'm STILL exhausted! But we have just one more BIG night to get thru before we can get a good night sleep. I'll tell you about it tomorrow though:).
I just wanna thank you for teaching our girls how to make me feel special on Mother's day. I had NO IDEA, so it was truly a pleasant suprise:). Talk to you later honey. 1434
Gabbi's Cotillion Recap
This past weekend was a BIG one for the family!
Saturday was Gabbi's cotillion. The day was pretty hectic with everyone running around in preparation. I could explain, but you know how we do family parties:). Everyone comes together like a fine-tuned machine and gets thangs done!
The Green Valley Country Club, where Kuya Lan runs the kitchen, was so elegant and beautifully decorated (Atch is so creative when it comes to planning every detail!)The cotillion court looked amazing - the boys in their borongs w/ turquoise undershirts, and the girls in their turquoise dresses.
Here's Lala w/ Dayna, Malena & Janessa. Beautiful cuuzinly love:)
Here's Lala w/ her partner, Cuzin Jarrid.
There's a TON of pics, but if I post them all it'll take up this whole blog post! LoL
When I got there before the party started, I had to take a "me" moment outside overlooking the golf course. I thought about how you were gonna help coreograph the waltz, you most likely would've done the slide show, and you definately would've been there hustlin all day to get the place ready. You would've presented a rose to Gabbi, and you and I would've been on the dance floor till it was time to go home! I got my moment overwith and was ready to party.
My date showed-up shortly after my "me" moment (BFF Annah was my date). I was a horrible date, but she stuck with me throughout the night anyways, like a champ! :)
Ate Mae and Rachelle were the MC's, and they had the entire room cracking-up from the start! Gabbi made her grand entrance, David welcomed the guests, Joseph blessed the food (ONLY like Joseph could! At the end of the prayer, he invited anyone who didn't know Christ to meet him at table #8! LoL), then it was dinner time.
By this time, everything was cool. Then, guess what the DJ started playing...our DJ Opus slow jam mix. The one we listened to all the time throughout our entire relationship! The one we knew backward and forward...all 29 minutes and 51 seconds of it! So, there came "me" moment #2. I ended up serenading our table! That helped keep my emotions in tact.
Our dinners were served. Kuya Lan did a phenomenal job on the food!!! He runs the kitchen there, so of course he made sure his staff made everything perfect. After dinner was the presentation of the 18 roses. Since you couldn't make it, I presented your rose. The others danced Gabbi around a couple times, but when I got to her I handed her the rose, held her, and said "If your Uncle Mark was here he would dance you all around this dance floor telling you how beautiful you are and how proud he is of you". I tried with all my might not to cry because this was GABBI's night and I didn't want her to get all sad and stuff, but as soon as I said the word "If", I started ballin! It took me a while to get it all out, but I did...FOR YOU!:) I was ballin, Gabbi was crying, then when I sat back at my seat I composed myself and Ate Sette came to me, smacked me on the arm, and said "you made me cry!". Oops...my bad! LoL
After the roses, the cotillion court presented the waltz. All the time, planning and hard work soooooo paid off because it was perfect!
Then came the presentation of the 18 candles. Give 18 women the mic and a chance to share their hearts with someone like Gabbi, of course it was like asking for reasons to get all emotional and cry:)! GOOD tears, of course. Then my sisters and I sang Dahil Sa Iyo w/ Gabbi...followed by a song by Gabbi w/ Noah on the drum and Chona on the guitar.
Next they played the 18 Treasures video where the cotillion court got to introduce their presents to Gabbi and greet her. I had never heard of the whole 18 treasures thing before, but it was definately a nice touch and a nice keepsake for Gab's.
After Gabbi changed her dress and the guys changed from barongs to black button-up shirts, six of the cotillion court couples presented the cha-cha routine which was A-MAZING! They looked like they had practiced for months, when in reality they only had a few cha-cha rehearsals. You woulda been so proud, especially since you most likely woulda helped Kuya Dak teach it:).
The rest of the night was filled with laughter, watching my all-growed-up nephews and nieces dancing, my siblings shake what our mama gave em, and wishing you were there to laugh and dance with me. You being MIA was the only thing that made the night just shy of being PERFECT!
It was Gabbi's night, I did my very best to keep smilin. It was difficult, and I had to step away a few times throughout the night, but in the end - I was pretty happy with myself:). I'm sure I made you proud babee.
So there you go babee. I hope you feel as if you were there after that play-by-play:). 1434
Saturday was Gabbi's cotillion. The day was pretty hectic with everyone running around in preparation. I could explain, but you know how we do family parties:). Everyone comes together like a fine-tuned machine and gets thangs done!
The Green Valley Country Club, where Kuya Lan runs the kitchen, was so elegant and beautifully decorated (Atch is so creative when it comes to planning every detail!)The cotillion court looked amazing - the boys in their borongs w/ turquoise undershirts, and the girls in their turquoise dresses.
There's a TON of pics, but if I post them all it'll take up this whole blog post! LoL
When I got there before the party started, I had to take a "me" moment outside overlooking the golf course. I thought about how you were gonna help coreograph the waltz, you most likely would've done the slide show, and you definately would've been there hustlin all day to get the place ready. You would've presented a rose to Gabbi, and you and I would've been on the dance floor till it was time to go home! I got my moment overwith and was ready to party.
My date showed-up shortly after my "me" moment (BFF Annah was my date). I was a horrible date, but she stuck with me throughout the night anyways, like a champ! :)
Ate Mae and Rachelle were the MC's, and they had the entire room cracking-up from the start! Gabbi made her grand entrance, David welcomed the guests, Joseph blessed the food (ONLY like Joseph could! At the end of the prayer, he invited anyone who didn't know Christ to meet him at table #8! LoL), then it was dinner time.
By this time, everything was cool. Then, guess what the DJ started playing...our DJ Opus slow jam mix. The one we listened to all the time throughout our entire relationship! The one we knew backward and forward...all 29 minutes and 51 seconds of it! So, there came "me" moment #2. I ended up serenading our table! That helped keep my emotions in tact.
Our dinners were served. Kuya Lan did a phenomenal job on the food!!! He runs the kitchen there, so of course he made sure his staff made everything perfect. After dinner was the presentation of the 18 roses. Since you couldn't make it, I presented your rose. The others danced Gabbi around a couple times, but when I got to her I handed her the rose, held her, and said "If your Uncle Mark was here he would dance you all around this dance floor telling you how beautiful you are and how proud he is of you". I tried with all my might not to cry because this was GABBI's night and I didn't want her to get all sad and stuff, but as soon as I said the word "If", I started ballin! It took me a while to get it all out, but I did...FOR YOU!:) I was ballin, Gabbi was crying, then when I sat back at my seat I composed myself and Ate Sette came to me, smacked me on the arm, and said "you made me cry!". Oops...my bad! LoL
After the roses, the cotillion court presented the waltz. All the time, planning and hard work soooooo paid off because it was perfect!
Then came the presentation of the 18 candles. Give 18 women the mic and a chance to share their hearts with someone like Gabbi, of course it was like asking for reasons to get all emotional and cry:)! GOOD tears, of course. Then my sisters and I sang Dahil Sa Iyo w/ Gabbi...followed by a song by Gabbi w/ Noah on the drum and Chona on the guitar.
Next they played the 18 Treasures video where the cotillion court got to introduce their presents to Gabbi and greet her. I had never heard of the whole 18 treasures thing before, but it was definately a nice touch and a nice keepsake for Gab's.
After Gabbi changed her dress and the guys changed from barongs to black button-up shirts, six of the cotillion court couples presented the cha-cha routine which was A-MAZING! They looked like they had practiced for months, when in reality they only had a few cha-cha rehearsals. You woulda been so proud, especially since you most likely woulda helped Kuya Dak teach it:).
The rest of the night was filled with laughter, watching my all-growed-up nephews and nieces dancing, my siblings shake what our mama gave em, and wishing you were there to laugh and dance with me. You being MIA was the only thing that made the night just shy of being PERFECT!
It was Gabbi's night, I did my very best to keep smilin. It was difficult, and I had to step away a few times throughout the night, but in the end - I was pretty happy with myself:). I'm sure I made you proud babee.
So there you go babee. I hope you feel as if you were there after that play-by-play:). 1434
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