As you know, I've never been one to enjoy heat! The sweatiness, discomfort...so uncomfortable! What sucks now is the effect all of the above has on my mood and feelings! Not too long ago I had a breakthrough and decided to make a conscious effort to focus on the positive rather than dwelling on the negative. Well, these days it's so hard to get past the discomfort to see anything positive!
I'm not saying i'm doing horrible and having random mood-swings. I am definately aware of my attitude and it's effect on those around me...but mentally, everything sucks!
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Don't be mad - I chopped my hair off today! MUCH shorter than you'd ever approve of...LoL. But my hair's so thick and it's so hot! I HAD to get it off my neck! I know, I coulda just pulled it back like I always do...but it's starting to fall out much more (stress had effected EVERYTHING about me)and pulling it back all the time wasn't helping any. For the record though, Atch likes it! And knowing her, she woulda said something if it looked like crap:).
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School's over for the kiddo's, Lala's graduated, and now it's time to get to packin for our next move. Non-stop changes for us! But we gotta keep on keepin on. Things definately are moving forward, so I have no complaints about it. (Other than the obvious!)
"The more you focus on the problem, on the bad thing that is happening to you, your life just goes down, down, down," says Anne Graham Lotz. This is why it's so important for me to keep my focus up, up, up!!! Thinking of you all the time and all the positives helps me do this. Thank God I haven't "lost it"!
Gnite babee...1434.
Here's my letter to you, Mark Matthew Aragon. The LOVE of my life, and Papa to our girls, who's Heavenly birthday is 11/04/2010. There's so much I want to say and if Heaven had a phone, I'd call. Missing & loving you more everyday, Lei
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Happy day-after-Papa's day
For this years Fathers Day family potluck we brought some of your faves:)! Jr Whoppers (no cheese) -Strawberry Cheesecake (2 faves in 1) -and Lemonade:). You loved big huge Whoppers w/out cheese, could drink a gallon of lemonade in one sitting, if cheesecake was on the menu there was no need to ask what you'd like for dessert, and you would eat/drink ANYTHING-strawberry all day long if you could...but we're 4 chicks on a budget, so this is gonna have to do:)! LoL
Here's a lil something Jin made for you...
And here's one from Isa...
We all missed you like crazy! The Jr Whoppers were a hit...they were gone first:). And although it was a day to celebrate you and all the fathers in the fam...we also celebrated the fact that everyone in my family has stepped-up as best they could to help fill your shoes as a Papa to the girls! Without a doubt, their love, support and prayers have made their journey of grief much less painful:). Seeing the family in action helps me to understand how God could possibly consider us capable of getting through this! He equipped us with a family who's faith can move mountains!
Anyways...Happy day-after-Papa's day babee. 1434
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Happy Papa's Day!
Papa's Day 2011...
Know that you are truly missed babe. You took papahood seriously since before the girls called you "Papa". You were an active part of their everyday lives...even in ways we didn't realize till after 11.4.10. To the people around you everyday - even the ones the girls and I had never met - you were known as a loving, proud, supportive, dedicated, loyal husband and papa, and hearing about it as people randomly send me messages will never get old...
Thank you for all you've ever done and all you were to and for our girls...and continue to do through our memories of you. HAPPY PAPA'S DAY! 1434
Know that you are truly missed babe. You took papahood seriously since before the girls called you "Papa". You were an active part of their everyday lives...even in ways we didn't realize till after 11.4.10. To the people around you everyday - even the ones the girls and I had never met - you were known as a loving, proud, supportive, dedicated, loyal husband and papa, and hearing about it as people randomly send me messages will never get old...
Thank you for all you've ever done and all you were to and for our girls...and continue to do through our memories of you. HAPPY PAPA'S DAY! 1434
Friday, June 17, 2011
Lala's DONE w/ HS!
***Delayed Post! I woke up to an error notification cuz I typed all this on the "title" line! Hahaha I literally hit the "publish" button and fell asleep! :)!***
Words cannot express just how proud I am of our Lala, and how thankful I am that she had YOU to be such a positive force in her life! Even when she took her SAT's, she wore your tribute shirt as a symbol of appreciation for you and somewhat of a good luck charm. she obviously did great considering she got accepted into each of the 4 CSU's she applied for!
While she doesnt wear your tribute shirt everyday, she does have a constant rememberance of you by wearing your cross around her neck each and every day.
Well babe-thats all I have the strength to write for. Ill ttyl. 1343
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
So little time...
BUSY day today...
Grad prep for Lala.
Awards assembly for Jin.
B'day dinner for Ate Lane.
We JUST got home and got lots to do before getting rest for another long day tomorrow (followed by a long Friday...long Saturday...and long Sunday).
Don't think you're not on my mind 24/7 cuz you are. Just ask anyone around me 24/7! I promise to catch up later. 1434
Grad prep for Lala.
Awards assembly for Jin.
B'day dinner for Ate Lane.
We JUST got home and got lots to do before getting rest for another long day tomorrow (followed by a long Friday...long Saturday...and long Sunday).
Don't think you're not on my mind 24/7 cuz you are. Just ask anyone around me 24/7! I promise to catch up later. 1434
Keila c/o 2011
"I have prayed for you...that your faith may not fail." Luke 22:32
Not a day goes by without me recognizing the power of prayer. There are so many people have been praying for us since day one, and I truly believe that's why we haven't lost our way.
************************************
Another big "first" is in less than 48 hours when Keila graduates from High School. You became a part of our family when she was just starting middle school. Before makeup, cell phones, Myspace, Facebook and teenage drama. You were the homework helper all throughout middle school and high school. Always scared the boys away and looked out for her and all her friends. Birthday parties, choir performances, open houses at school, hip hop, martial arts, hula...you shared so many moments and in so many cases, made many of those moments possible. Walks around Lake Merritt, rides here and there and back. Papa-daughter talks - you never raised your voice no matter how frustrated you'd be...
Out of everything I've mentioned (and the many other things not mentioned), I'm most thankful for the example you've given her of the future husband/father of her children that God has created just for her, and will reveal to her one day. She witnessed with her own eyes what LOVE looks like, and because of that she won't have to go thru too much heartbreak before realizing who her "soul mate" is. On the flip-side, she's seen us struggle due to our lack of education and waiting too long to get it together in life. But we always used our circumstances as a life lesson for her. She knows what it's like to be "without", and therefore has an appreciation for all she's blessed with.
The woman she is becoming has so much to do with YOU! Her graduation is not just a celebration of her accomplishments, but also of the impact you had in her life. Thank you sweetie. 1434
Not a day goes by without me recognizing the power of prayer. There are so many people have been praying for us since day one, and I truly believe that's why we haven't lost our way.
************************************
Another big "first" is in less than 48 hours when Keila graduates from High School. You became a part of our family when she was just starting middle school. Before makeup, cell phones, Myspace, Facebook and teenage drama. You were the homework helper all throughout middle school and high school. Always scared the boys away and looked out for her and all her friends. Birthday parties, choir performances, open houses at school, hip hop, martial arts, hula...you shared so many moments and in so many cases, made many of those moments possible. Walks around Lake Merritt, rides here and there and back. Papa-daughter talks - you never raised your voice no matter how frustrated you'd be...
Out of everything I've mentioned (and the many other things not mentioned), I'm most thankful for the example you've given her of the future husband/father of her children that God has created just for her, and will reveal to her one day. She witnessed with her own eyes what LOVE looks like, and because of that she won't have to go thru too much heartbreak before realizing who her "soul mate" is. On the flip-side, she's seen us struggle due to our lack of education and waiting too long to get it together in life. But we always used our circumstances as a life lesson for her. She knows what it's like to be "without", and therefore has an appreciation for all she's blessed with.
The woman she is becoming has so much to do with YOU! Her graduation is not just a celebration of her accomplishments, but also of the impact you had in her life. Thank you sweetie. 1434
Monday, June 13, 2011
Facing It
"Without Christ, I can't face it. I can only face what a pill can solve. I can only face what an affair can solve. I can only face what drinking too much or eating too much or spending too much or crying a lot or watching TV or reading or watching soap operas can solve, which isn't the real me." (Larry Crabb)
I hate to say it, but I can so relate to what He's saying here! Once my family got back to their "normal" lives (which was a good and necessary thing for them to do) I was left with two options: Face the reality of losing you, or not. For a while, I refused to face anything, and it got me nowhere - FAST!
Thankfully, my hope and faith kept me from sinking which would've eventually led me to drowning! No matter how hard I tried to numb the pain or deny it's severity God sent constant reminders in my life of who He is and what I have to look forward to. There are times when I'd pray for "my time" to come much sooner than later...then one of our beautiful girls would come into the room and kiss me outta the blue and tell me she loves me. Now that is nothing short of a GOD-thang!
I have moments like that here and there...but no matter what, by the time I lay my head on my pillow at night, I am calm and thankful for another day.
"My peace I give you." John 14:24
Outwardly, Christ endured one of the most troubled lives ever lived. Storms and turmoil, turmoil and storms--wave after wave broke over Him until His worn body was laid in the tomb. YET His inner life was as smooth as a sea of glass, and a great calm was always there. (Streams in the Desert)
***
By now I'm sure you've met up with our dear brother Fred Perry - husband of Precious Perry. Our Heavenly Father called him home today and although our hearts are heavy, we all know he's in the best hands. I'm positive that, like you, he will remain close to Precious and their family until they all meet again in Heaven.
1434
I hate to say it, but I can so relate to what He's saying here! Once my family got back to their "normal" lives (which was a good and necessary thing for them to do) I was left with two options: Face the reality of losing you, or not. For a while, I refused to face anything, and it got me nowhere - FAST!
Thankfully, my hope and faith kept me from sinking which would've eventually led me to drowning! No matter how hard I tried to numb the pain or deny it's severity God sent constant reminders in my life of who He is and what I have to look forward to. There are times when I'd pray for "my time" to come much sooner than later...then one of our beautiful girls would come into the room and kiss me outta the blue and tell me she loves me. Now that is nothing short of a GOD-thang!
I have moments like that here and there...but no matter what, by the time I lay my head on my pillow at night, I am calm and thankful for another day.
"My peace I give you." John 14:24
Outwardly, Christ endured one of the most troubled lives ever lived. Storms and turmoil, turmoil and storms--wave after wave broke over Him until His worn body was laid in the tomb. YET His inner life was as smooth as a sea of glass, and a great calm was always there. (Streams in the Desert)
***
By now I'm sure you've met up with our dear brother Fred Perry - husband of Precious Perry. Our Heavenly Father called him home today and although our hearts are heavy, we all know he's in the best hands. I'm positive that, like you, he will remain close to Precious and their family until they all meet again in Heaven.
1434
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