"It's Complicated"

I forgot to mention last time that on Wednesday i got a message from Monse telling me that she was assigned an essay in her Bible Lit class, and she wants to write it on YOU! WoW, right?!? Not in an "i'm suprised" kinda way...but in a "how honored you must feel" kinda way! She said a lot of her questions can be found in my letters to you...but she has a few more so i'll be spending the weekend chatting back and forth with her. My goodness! First we find out that Trey wrote about you in his college app essays, and now Monse! You sure left a lasting impression in SoCal :) It was always such a good feeling that Keila's friends would call us "mama and papa" too. But to know they really considered us as a second mama and papa...thats priceless! I cant wait to see what Monse comes up with in her essay.
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In the book I'm reading, "The Undistracted Widow", the author's husband died from cancer a year after his diagnosis. I dont know which would have been more difficult! Watching you suffer until your death, or the sudden and "painless" (as my hope has me sure of) passing you had...But one thing is for sure, I can relate to soooooo much she has to say, regardless of how different our situations are.

One thing the author mentions is her feelings the first time she had to mark "widow" on a form. I havent had to do that yet. Honestly, i never really gave it much thought. But now I can honestly say that I'm utterly dreading that moment! I've had to mark single, married, legally separated, and even divorced. Marking "divorced" wasnt that hard for me because life went on. But while life also "goes on" after becoming a widow, its unexplainably and completely different! I wouldnt want to mark "single" because I dont consider myself single. I cant mark "married" because death has done us part. I wish the makers of the forms could include an "its complicated" box like myspace did!

I have so much more to say, but i think i'm gonna get back to the book for now. Miss you much babee! 1434